Why I decided to become a match-maker with Slow Dating Online
Manoj Nayak•Do you want to know why I entered the match-making business? People are lonelier than ever. It is not only men but also women looking for someone out there. In spite of this epidemic of loneliness enabled by technology, why are we not able to find love? When is everyone seeking love? Who will give love?
I have a close married friend who recently divorced after a decade of marriage. His wife got involved with someone else. Love can happen to anyone and at any time. Maybe his wife wasn't getting something emotionally out of my friend. It could be possible, so he doesn't blame her. He is a mature person. They both had long talks and tried to patch up their differences. But his wife was deeply involved with another person now. She couldn't imagine a life with him anymore.
He decided he would move on. They wished each other good luck. While his wife had already got love, my friend was left all alone. But now, after a decade of marriage coming to an abrupt end. After a year of trying to sort out his head. He decided he wanted to give another shot at love. Moving on in love and, particularly, a divorce is much more difficult than changing cities or Jobs. Who will help him deal with this loss? Can you trust our tech bro's in the valley?
But how do you move on from someone whom you have spent a decade loving?#
Your emotional life affects every other area of your life. That is the place where you derive your life force from. It is your raison d'etre.
Dating apps are ubiquitous. You cannot escape them. He had never tried these apps. But he went ahead and purchased a one-month subscription to Bumble. He kept swiping for a few days hoping for someone to talk to him. But a week went by, and after what felt like five hundred right swipes, he still had yet to receive any messages from anyone.
In his swiping madness, he wasn’t even looking at the profiles. He was blindly swiping on all profiles in his age range and for women all over the country. He told me this is how it works, the more people you swipe, the better your odds are of getting a match. I told him you are swiping on men and transgenders also. He said he didn’t know why they appeared in his feed, as he had clearly mentioned he was only interested in women. I said maybe Bumble guys are being politically correct, so transgenders are categorised as women in a world gone woke.
Finally, Lady Luck smiled. In the second week, he had one message. This was a transgender whom he had matched accidentally. The woman was bearded with long hair. He wasn’t interested in dating a bearded woman. I jokingly told him he shouldn't discriminate and should give her a try. Ultimately after what seemed like he had done a thousand right swipes, he threw in the towel. Not a single woman had thought he was interesting enough to match with him.
It made him doubt my self-worth.
I told him my women friends tell me thousands of women are lonely, but why is he not connecting with these women? Aren’t they on Bumble?
On hearing about his experience with Bumble, I felt something was fundamentally broken with these dating apps; he was looking for some love and affection online, not hook-ups. He wanted a serious relationship.
At the same time, the news of Shraddha Walkar’s murder broke. She and the guy who murdered her had met via Bumble. I wondered what got Aftab a chance, but my friend doesn't get even one message after a thousand right swipes. My case against these swiping-like apps got stronger.
What about the numerous boys who are getting blackmailed by being trapped surreptitiously into such honey traps?
There was something fundamentally wrong with these swiping-like dating apps. Were they built for Chad's only? I know from my research that only four per cent of men are getting the 80 per cent of women messaging them. The rest of the ninety-six per cent are living in quiet desperation. I want to help these ninety-six per cent of men who need to get attention. I will play cupid and make a big difference in their world.
A person's consciousness cannot be captured in a brief dating app profile.#
There has to be something potentially more in a person's consciousness and subconscious mind, which both interested parties need to explore before they decide to commit to such a person.
Going on Bumble dates and getting into serious commitments is a dangerous way of handling your love life. One needs to meet only a person when one knows the contents of a person's conscious and subconscious mind. At least, that is my opinion.
In my slow dating concept. I will vouch for two people, vet their profiles, and only when I am assured enough I will make them meet. I feel people rush in too soon only to hurt themselves. Shraddha’s case was extreme but think about the thousands of reckless relationships facilitated by these apps.
I have decided this swiping right madness has to STOP!#
I have to do something about this stupidity which has these lonely hearts caught in a frenzy. But what can I do to help men like my friend? I know he is worth a lot more. He deserves companionship, and he deserves love. He deserves a second chance.
I was at the same time thinking, how can I make dating safer for girls like Shraddha?
Can I be better at playing cupid than apps like Bumble?#
The gullible young and not-so-smart and savvy older people need relationship help; they need to trust themselves to random strangers on such dating apps, which are only based on seeing a few pictures of someone and a brief description.
I will talk to women to give men like my divorced friend a chance. I want to ensure girls are protected from entering a wrong relationship too soon. I will vouch for their credibility and the character of the man. I will improve the odds of men like my divorced friends dating success!
This was the genesis of slowdating.online